Hello My Lovelies,

When I was at summer camp years ago (oh those halcyon days of sun and young bodies), Big Dave ran an old frying pan along the outside of the bunkhouses every morning after reveille. "All right girls. Wake up. Get your girdles on," he trilled. Girls? Girdles? Well, he should know. Which takes me to holidays and leisure, our lodestar of the day. When life gets you down, don’t you long for foreign shores, to kick the dust off your feet and switch off that evil phone, so you can focus on the darling next to you?

Well, listen up, dears. We’re entering the golden age. Those boomers we’ve read about are packing it in. They’re having bypasses and selling the box companies their fathers started. They want places to go and things to do. Sure, scads will take a condo in Deerfield beach. Those are great investments for the foolhardy. Talk about risk. All this palaver about global warming and sea levels rising and these lovely people buy property right on the ocean. Well, who would think? Actually, they compromise at the last minute, because their brains are first class. Oceanfront is way too expensive. They buy units with partial views or across the street. But that’s not the point. I had good friends, I swear it, through my wild years. Didn’t you? And they provided little me (how is a great story, I’ll tell you later) with a handful of shekels to toss into a developer’s lap. But I refused to unload cash into beachfront where the sand is regularly washed away and hurricanes destroy what’s left. I don’t know. Call me foolish. It doesn’t appeal to me. So thumbs down on Pompano Beach.

Now, I say thumbs down. But we aren’t idiots are we? We know how to hedge. I bought this tiny darling condo right on the beach south of Deerfield. A tiny thing. The City faithfully repairs the beach every year. The condo board keeps the masonry solid. The hurricanes come and go. And listen up, sweetheart. I have made a hundred percent in five years. Plus the rental income. I call this a bijoux investment. Contrary to good sense, but loving the darn thing anyway. Like diamonds on a cloudy day.

What’s left for the newly leisured if not Florida? It’s, dimly remembered from poetry class. Or Angkor Wat, the holiday excursion that makes up for somebody’s Vietnam adventure. My dears, there’s a bundle to be made in paradise holidays for the newly fragile (and solidly rich). Overseas is nice, but we’re also looking at big money in where piranha and python roam or the Darwin mystery tour to the. A patina of science on the main dish of snorkeling and those gorgeous women. Spanish adds a taste of the exotic and local enthusiasm runs high at festivals, where we can pretend to be one world. Yes, I’ve placed a few pennies in the Ecuador market. I didn’t want to tell you right away, but I’m really excited. My partners are so good looking. And the banks are great. What more could a want? Am I falling in love, or what? And this is American dollar country. Trust it, but never too long.

Dear Friends,

It has been so hot here lately, and I mean hot. All over. Which brings me to the subject of water. It’s only a matter of time till we have to pay for this tasteless beverage. It’s necessary, I suppose that’s the best we can say for it. And it makes a great mixer with soda, ice, ginger and lime. But there will be a bubble in water one day, the salt sea kind, and dearies we have to be ready to ride the wave and bail before it crashes.

So here’s what we’re going to do. First of all, we’re not talking about water treatment plants, freshwater extraction from cactuses, or any other of the dream machines for engineers. We’re not talking about present tech or finding that elusive breakthrough that will send a company to the stratosphere. No, my lovelies, we’re talking here about public panic. One day the markets will focus all their energy on water and that’s our signal. We want 10% of our portfolios ready to sell for cash. And we throw it at any water business that’s rocketing upward. Don’t investigate the directors. Don’t check their balance sheet. This is projectile investing. Toss it into four companies that are part of the surge.

And when do we sell, me hearties? We sell 25% after we’ve made 25%, and a further 25% after we make another 25%. And so on. You place the automatic puts with your broker if you trouble with one, or watch the bids yourself. When you’ve made 100% on a quarter of your original investment, you’re out. You can sit back, knowing the bubble will burst, having made a round 50%. And, there’s more. With me, there’s always more.

Investors will be selling their good shares to toss into the water pond. As you sell your 25% holdings, you’ll have tremendous values to snap up. Figure that the water market is going to plummet and if you’re a gambler (which I definitely am not), sell short when the upward trend buckles. You’ll likely walk away with another 25%.

So there it is duckie, the 25% solution. The system works with any sudden, intense interest in a resource sector that has a rational justification. Remember the key words: sudden (working on emotion and greed), intense (creates the illusion that investors must act quickly), interest (focused attention on a small part of the market), resources (an objectively limited product), and rationally justified (don’t sweat whether the rationale is correct. Any rationale will lift a wave past the cut-off).

Go for it, darling. And see in St Trop.

Now Dears,

I don’t want you to panic. Everything is as it should be in this best of all possible worlds. I’m healthy, you’re healthy, he she it’s healthy. You know the drill. But I have had a scare, and that’s what prompts this little deviation from my obstinate optimism.

A little palpitation is what it was. I felt a light flutter inside the chest, where the heart is, a little lightness of breath, an airiness, almost an indifference to breathing. I immediately ran to my excellent doctor friend Frank, who I went to school with long ago when I was an innocent…well, that doesn’t matter. But Frank always sees to me. And it turns out that nothing’s wrong. Absolutely nothing. Test after test turned out glowing results. Your Gertie is in fine fettle.

Now, I have to confess I’m 36. No longer in the first flush of youth, I’m mature. Not middle aged. But no longer a gawky teen. I’m starting to wonder about the possibility that one day I might grow old, in the distant future, you understand. And then the diseases will strike. You know, the ones that your grannie has. Rheumatism, cataracts, macular degeneration, the list goes on.

Which takes me to today’s money surge. Healthcare dearies. Healthcare. Don’t forget, when you have those few extra pennies, to toss them into a conglomerate that caters to the geezerheads of the near future, the limping grumbling cantankerous worried boomers. There’s many a chicken there to be plucked, and it’s time to get your dollars into the pot where you can see profits from the care of these declining souls. Always in the background of your portfolio keep the equivalent of insurance. You need a little policy of your own for those inevitable accidents, but beyond that why not take a slice of the action from both sides? If you get sick, you have your disability and accident coverage, but you also profit from the misadventures and catastrophes of others. There’s never an ill wind that blows nobody any good, as they say. And they’re right.

So the message today is keep track of the basics. Watch the action in the healthcare sector. It has good, clean, safe, steady growth written all over it. I have to run just now, because Frank’s at the door. We do have a good time.Make hay, children. Make hay.

Well Dearies,

Thank you, I’m overwhelmed by your lovely response to my suggestions. My cheeks are absolutely blushing. And yes, I have made a lot of money. I’m not lacking, thank you very much, though gifts are always gratefully received. I want to add a thought or two to my last columns. This is in reply particularly to Brad who wrote little me about the war industry’s support for African diamond mines. Yes, I’m in favour of the mines and the armament business. These are sources of vast riches for us. War and luxury: two of the great levers of industry in human history. The support has cut both ways, don’t you agree? The more fighting there is, the more need for weapons. The more demand for weapons, the greater the demand for money, which is what the diamond trade is all about. We have a neat little algorithm here, don’t we Brad? If I had a hundred thousand that wasn’t already pumped into the weapons trade, I’d put it there right now.

All this talk about diamonds and war has made me thirsty, don’t ask me why. I’ve poured myself a lovely red wine and – mmmmmm, yes! – I want to talk about what’s really on our minds. I mean beauty and desire. How do people arouse desire? Beauty. We crave to be the centre of attention, and beauty is one mighty way to get it. There are ways to enhance the gifts nature has given us and the easy methods are cosmetic and surgical. They cost money, but they’re worth every penny. Whatever you think about these products, everyone wants to look beautiful. And the companies that provide us with eternal youth are worth a close look when it comes to smart investment. Beauty is necessary. Men or women, young and old, we all dream about it. We yearn for it. Beauty products are everywhere. There are wrinkle removers, moisturizers, lipsticks and gloss and outliner, mascaras and blush; everything you could want for your skin. And more dramatically, there’s breast enlargement and shaping, tummy tucks, nose sculpture, cheekbone enhancers, waistline alteration, and enlargement of other lovely parts of our bodies. Beauty products and cosmetic surgery, that’s a growth industry if I ever saw one. And there’s still plenty of time to get in on the ground floor as the boomers age and struggle against father time.

Reflect a little. We’ve talked about war and luxury and beauty. What are these but aspects of power. Power is the oldest commodity in the world, even before you-know-what. War gathers power into new hands or cements it in the old. Luxury is the result of power. And beauty is an alternative route to it, a different but time-honoured means of getting it. We can create a little check list if you like. When you’re considering an investment, ask yourself if the industry increases people’s power. Because if it does, you’ll likely make a bundle from it.

Enough serious talk. The wine is gorgeous, and I’m going to sip it while taking a lovely hot bath with the steam rising all around. Good for the skin.